Megan Fox is FHMs Sexiest Woman in the world; Heidi Montag makes Top Ten

Megan Fox has been named FHM’s Sexiest Woman in the World for the second straight year, a feat only accomplished by one other woman in history – Jennifer Lopez did it two years in a row in 2001 and 2002. This is all so epic, I might cry. For the honor, FHM’s official Top 100, they are using what looks like a photo of Megan from two years ago, with this quote: “I have the libido of a 15-year-old boy – my sex drive is so high. I like the bad-boy types. The guy I’m attracted to is the guy in the club with all the tattoos and nail polish. He’s usually the lead singer in a punk band and plays guitar.” Seriously, fanboys? You need to get a grip. Everything about Megan Fox is budget, but she still wouldn’t ever touch it, okay, fanboys?

Here’s the rest if the Top Ten, in descending order and with my own little asides. Just imagine me coughing and spitting out these bitchy comments as you’re reading: Jessica Alba (bitchface), Scarlett Johansson (boobs), Jessica Biel (dude), Madeline Zima (little girl from Hand That Rocks The Cradle that I have no problems with so far), Adriana Lima (a little cross-eyed, yes?), Elisha Cuthbert (not cute), Heidi Montag (barf), Anne Hathaway (pretentious) and Katy Perry (can’t sing). What is it with the fanboys and Elisha Cuthbert? Is there something about her I’m not seeing? At best, she’s utterly plain. At worst… well, she’s just not cute. And Heidi friggin’ Montag? Are you joking?

But of course, people are already making this list about Angelina Jolie. There’s a Press Association piece all about how the world doesn’t think Angelina is sexy anymore because she got knocked out of the Top Ten for the first time in five years. Yeah, she’s down to number 14 on the list – below Heidi Montag and Elisha Cuthbert. That doesn’t really count, you know? Anyone making a list of sexy women who puts Heidi before Angelina needs to be dragged out into the street, beaten, then forced to listen to Heidi’s songs.

Angelina Jolie has been knocked out of the Top 10 of FHM’s Sexiest Women In The World list for the first time in five years.

The Hollywood beauty – who has never been voted No 1 in the poll but entered the Top 10 in ninth place in 2004 – only made it to 15th place this year, her lowest position since 2004.

Megan Fox, who has been dubbed the new Angelina, was voted FHM’s Sexiest Woman In The World for the second year in a row. The Transformers star is only the second woman in the 15-year history of the poll to keep her top slot, after Jennifer Lopez in 2001 and 2002.

Britney Spears was the comeback queen of the year. A previous winner of the poll, voted for online by FHM readers worldwide, the pop princess scraped into the 2008 list in 100th place but made it to 12th position this year.

[From The Press Association]

Oh, and by the way… Jennifer is Aniston is number 50. Just so everybody gets their fill of the uncool Bermuda Triangle. And Rachel Ray is number 100. Who votes for Rachel Ray? The FHM press release says that “10 million votes” were cast… so Rachel Ray must have gotten a couple, at least. Who are Rachel Ray’s fanboys? Is there some teenage boy sitting out there, masturbating to pictures of Megan Fox and Rachel Ray? Please say no.

Here’s Megan at the U.K. premiere of “Transformers” last Monday. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

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